by Victoria Osborne, Owner, The Colonel Williams Inn.
At the Colonel Williams, we specialize in creating and hosting dreamy Vermont barn weddings. But real disasters can happen – most of which are (sorry to say) self-inflicted.
Here are five tips for How to Have a Really Terrible Wedding. Part 2 is featured on our blog “A Life Inn Vermont” at www.thecolonelwilliamsinn.com – and we are always happy to answer your wedding planning questions (or share more horror stories) at 802-257-1093.
1. Choose an Overly Complicated Menu or Inexperienced Caterer
Never let your guests go hungry. Your guests have been with you through the ceremony and cocktail hour, your big entrance, the first dance, an unfortunate speech by the best man… they are hungry. And potentially a bit tipsy. Be sure to work with an experienced caterer who can recommend a menu that can be finished on time (and on budget) and will cover all dietary needs: a fed guest is a happy guest.
2. Forget the Seating Chart
Avoid a “Lord of the Flies” incident at your reception by assigning seats. We get it: figuring out the seating chart sucks. But don’t leave your beloved grandparents stuck at Table 20 because they couldn’t throw an elbow like your second cousin during the rush to get the “best” table. Just take a breath and assign seats, don’t leave it to chance. Everyone will be happier when they know exactly where to go and what to do.
3. Let Out Your Inner ‘Zilla
This day is about more than just you. We have seen our share of bridezillas (and groomzillas, tbh) and we get it: emotions are running high, and people who may generally avoid each other are forced to be in the same space. Don’t add to the drama. Do you really want to be remembered for the fit you threw because arugula was substituted for baby kale in the salad? No one can control the weather, the growing season of greens, or the behavior of your cousin’s kids. Yes, it’s your day. Don’t be a jerk.
4. Hire Your Brother’s Friend’s Cousin who Sorta DJ’d a Kegger in College
For the love of everything good about weddings, use a music professional. “We’ll just make a playlist,” or “I don’t want the DJ to play [insert overused wedding song here],” or “DJs are expensive.” But a DJ doesn’t just play music. He/she is in charge of making announcements, encouraging the crowd to have fun, and ensuring that the mood and flow of your reception reflects your tastes and personality. A professional DJ will be happy to work with you on your playlist, and will read the crowd and adjust the mix or volume to match their energy. All of the above goes for bands, too. Don’t skimp on the music – it’s important.
5. Ignore Your Wedding Planner’s Advice
Your wedding planner has seen it all, trust them to make things right. Whether your venue has an in-house planner (like ours), or you hire an independent coordinator–listen to their advice. They will work with your vendors, run interference with problematic guests, find safety pins, and smooth over hurt feelings. The goal is to make sure any problems are taken care of quickly, quietly, and before you even know about them. And yes, they will tell you that the photo of the groom and his party “relieving themselves” in the woods is NOT a good idea. Be open to advice from the pros – they know what they are talking about.
So, there you go. For a terrible wedding, follow the tips above. For an amazing wedding – give us a call today!
